I've been growing my hair out for over a year now. I keep going to the wrong salon for a "trim" and ending up with a chin length bob, AGAIN. This time I've learned my lesson. I'm going to keep the ends healthy and grow it out to its terminal length. I don't heat style. I use a gentle organic shampoo. I allow sebum to coat the shaft from root to tip before washing. In between washes, I rinse with warm water. I don't brush it or handle it much until it's dry. I brush with a Widu to direct it once it is dry. That's it!

Right now I'm taking hair vitamins, drinking lots of spring water, and eating beef and eggs to recover from a horrible haircut. By this time next month I will be finished with them and back to my usual intake. It will be such a relief to have my hair back again.

For years I wore it at its terminal length. Then something happened and I just decided to cut it shorter and shorter. The next thing you know, I was sporting a longish crew cut. It was fun and easy to care for but it needed to be cut every three weeks and it's not a very flattering style.

Finally I decided to grow it out again. I keep succumbing to a compulsive need to trim and even out the length. I've decided to let that go. It looks the way that it looks until it reaches its terminal length. It grows evenly and there is really no need to cut it as it lengthens. Because I take such good care of my hair it has no split ends or damage. I'm letting go of the need to fix something that isn't broken.

I'm sorry you've had such awful misunderstandings about what a trim means.  It sounds like you're taking very good care of your hair and are very conscious of your goal.  I always say half the amount I really want trimmed off, try to show with my fingers and tell her an exact amount of cms.  My hairdresser's also aware of my goal.  This is no guarantee that I always get it the way I want it trimmed though.