Alright!  So at one time or another, I have read almost all the "recipes" on this site for hair, and I have tried a lot of them in my quest for finding something to make my hair silky and smooth, so far to no avail.  I am REALLY getting at my whit's end about it.  It is too the point now that I can not wear my hair down even for a few minutes, because it is SO knot prone.  I can't even wear my hair in a pony tail because any movement makes it sway back and forth against my back or shoulder and it knots us horribly.  I'm losing my mind!!  It's been about 4 years since I started looking for something to solve my knotting dilemma but I STILL haven't found anything.  Hair products are not an option, they destroy my hair, and I can't use fancy shampoos and conditioners because my hair will not tolerate cones (it makes my hair like dry spaghetti).  Yesterday I was really tempted to hack half of it off, just in the hopes of it was only to the middle of my back (instead of to my tail bone) than maybe it wouldn't knot up as much?  But I know that's not true, it would still knot up.

The other thing is that my hair is not unhealthy.  I take pretty good care of it, I's just course and frizzy, instead of smooth and silky, which makes it IMPOSSIBLE to wear down!  And what's the point of having long hair if I can't show it off??  I'm just really exasperated.

What I need is something to put in my hair to make it smooth, so my hair will just glide along instead of getting hung up on EVERYTHING it touches (including itself). 

Does anyone know of any treatments that help? Anything that I can put in my hair that will make it smooth?  I already oil my ends, and that does help with moisture issues, but not with tangling or smoothness.  There has to be SOMETHING!!  ;(

How about doing an ACV rinse?  I usually do an ACV rinse  2x a month and I notice that my hair is less knotty.  Granted it's curly,but long and humidity makes it feel like 20 lbs,but it knots!!  Try the ACV rinse and see if it helps.

I can understand why you feel exasperated.  I would too.  I do the vinegar rinses once a week or more often if I've goofed up my hair care regime like I did yesterday.  I've heard that coconut is good for coarse hair types but it's not clear to me whether they mean coconut oil or milk.  There are some more or less organic hair care lines that have something coconut in their ingredients list.  I know Oriflame does but I haven't tried their rice milk and coconut products yet.  Sorry I don't know any recipes.  I'm too lazy to make anything.

You might also try Ouidad's Deep Treatment conditoner.  I know it is pricey, but I think you can get a free sample.  It gives my hair a lot of slip.

I'll have to get back to you on that-I'm out of the country at the moment.

Thanks, MichelleR!  Why didn't I think of doing that?

Since I put in a shower filter my hair and scalp definitely improved!!  I think that's a smart move.

Have you ever tried neem oil for your dandruff?  I was having a terribly flaky and itchy scalp before I started doing acv rinses, installing the shower filter and using neem.  When it was really bad I applied neem oil directly to my scalp.  From the health food store I got Neem Therapy shampoo and conditioner.  I used them maybe 4 times before my condition improved so much that I only use it on occasion.

This is the shampoo/condish I'm talking about:

http://www.directlyfromnature.com/Neem.htm

The first product and the 5th are the ones I've used. 

Good luck!!!

Oh, another thought...are you getting your hair thoroughly wet before shampooing and then rinsing really, really well to be sure all the shampoo in off your scalp?

I thought all "alcohols" were bad for your hair inasmuch as they dry it out?  hmm.  Also, I haven't tried neem oil yet but I sure will now!  And yeah I don't have an itchy scalp but it flakes like crazy, and I have very oily skin and hair and I don't have eczema or anything like that so I'm thinking the horrible city water here HAS to be what's making my scalp flake.  I can't wait to get a new shower filter!  Where did you get yours Sakina?  

Oh and as far as the conditioner question:  I always thoroughly wet my hair before washing it, and I haven't used a conditioner for a while now (I am using a shampoo bar from hennaforhair.com)  So I know it's not buildup.  I also do not put any products whatsoever in my hair.  It really is my skin flaking up, but I have no idea what's causing it.  It's only been about the last 2 years which is how long I have lived in the apt I am in right now, I'm thinking it's the city water, it;s the LAST thing I haven't eliminated from my hair routine, and it's caustic.  Makes me sneeze and what not every time I shower.