I often feel that I have not lived my life well.  I came across a little story lately that helps me to understand how this has come to be. Here is the story:

"A Cherokee elder sitting with his grandchildren told them, “In every life there is a terrible fight—a fight between two wolves. One is evil: he is fear, anger, envy, greed, arrogance, self-pity, resentment, and deceit. The other is good: joy, serenity, humility, confidence, generosity, truth, gentleness, and compassion.” A child asked, “Grandfather, which wolf will win?” The elder looked him in the eye. “The one you feed.”"

Have I been feeding the wrong wolf?  I have lately been coming to the conclusion that I have one last chance to be the person I would like to be.  This later stage of my life can be lived well.  I would like to be a successful old person, that is, to be good at being old.  I am not what most people would call "old" yet.  I will be 56 at the end of this month, but now is the time to take stock of where I am and where I am going.  It's very scary.  I look around and see many very unhappy people.  Is it this way everywhere, or is it the circle I live in?  Are we all feeding the wrong wolf?  I resolve, at least for today, to feed the good wolf.  The evil wolf has grown so strong over the years that it will take continuing resolve to let him starve when he begs for attention.

I love that story.  Every time I hear it it resonates with me.

Consider your Gemini nature, both wolves get fed from time to time.
Choose the qualities you wish to feed.  It is never to late, because we have today, now.  Tomorrow when you wake up it will be again.
As the Buddha said, we must be the light we want to see in the world.
Free yourself from labeling good and evil, both serve a purpose in the lessons we experience.
If being good at being old is what you want, you will create it.  I offer up to you thanking the "evil" wolf for the gifts through lessons it has brought you and it will diminish its strength.  Nature abhors a vaccuum-what you resist persists.  Acknowledgement lets the energy keep flowing so it can move on, denial sticks it to you like glue.  Super glue.

Thanks for reminding me of this lovely story. 

I admit I am unable to fight the bad wolf alone.  That is one of the reasons I find it necessary to (continually)throw myself on the Mercy Seat...to believe that the Passion of Christ is meant for me and He has won the victory over the bad wolf for me.

A common mistake is to think that only big choices count. Many people believe that everyday moral choices aren't important because they are so small. But they do, and it means that every day there are many opportunities to make the right choice and enhance your good side. Any learning takes time, but if you just won't give up, you will succeed in improving yourself.

I have come to the conclusion that happiness depends mostly of state of mind and the shape of one's character. Many people are unhappy because they have lead lives pursuing unimportant, petty goals and have too often refused to listen their conscience. This leads to a character that is unable to experience happiness, only fleeting pleasures. Those people believe that happiness is something that can be achieved- which is not true. Instead, happiness is a way of existing in world.
    When your conscience is pure and you are in peace with yourself, knowing that though you are not perfect, you are spending each tray on a quest to improve yourself- then you are happy.

Thanks for sharing this story.

A popular bumper sticker a number of years ago has always stuck with me.....

"Practice random acts of kindness"

I found this a great motto to live by, along with the Golden Rule of treating others as you would like to be treated. 

Life is sooo much better when you are happy with yourself.