Do you use a deep conditoner? Sometimes those will help with making your hair more manageable. I'm new at this so maybe some of the others will give you better advice than I can.

Once the hair is damaged, you are limited as to what you can do to improve the condition.  It sounds like your hair is very dry and brittle.  Deep conditioning and regular oiling will help restore the moisture that the hair desparately needs.

The other side of the equation, is to prevent further damage. 
-  Minimizing the use of heated appliances (hair dryers, curling irons, hair straighteners) is a big part of that. 

-  Paying attention to the types of shampoos and conditioners you use could also help - be sure it is a gentle, moisturizing type. 

-  Try to determine if your hair can handle the silicones or not.  These ingredients can coat the hair to look smooth and sleek initially, but can cause dry and brittle hair if not removed regularly.  Vinegar rinses can be great for removing product build up. 

-  Be gentle with your hair.  Don't brush it when it is damp or wet.  Make sure your comb and/or brush is not causing more damage.  Seams on combs can cut thru your hair.

Make sure you have read thru the Ultimate Guide to Growing Long Hair on this site.  There are many excellent suggestions for improving your hair's condition.

I'm sure others will jump in with their suggestions as well, I'm just giving you a few ideas to start with.

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Remember that most of us only use an ACV (apple cider vinegar) rinse once or twice a week so there's no drying out of the hair.  Perhaps if you tell us more about what type of hair you have we can help more.  For instance, how long is your hair?  Is sit straight?  Curly?  Thick or thin?  Ethnicity plays a part in it, too.  Oh, and welcome, by the way!   

I usually do my vinegar rinse after shampooing and before conditioning.  This allows the vinegar to open the cuticle of the hair to so that the moisture from the conditioner can access the hair better.  The vinegar ultimately is counteracted by the conditioner, so that it does not dry out the hair.

With tailbone length hair, I would highly recommend oiling the ends of the hair.  Jojoba oil works well for my fine, slightly wavy hair.  I oil my hair at night before I go to bed.  I apply the oil to my hands, then run my hands down the length of the hair.  I then braid my hair for sleeping.  In the morning it is soft and managable.

how much vinegar should i use, or do i mix it with anything else?
and i heard that jojoba oil isexpensive so how much does it exactly cost?(or an estimation)

I'm sorry you had to go through all that. I hope things are getting better for you!

About the ACV rinses, I've found that 1/4 cup vinegar to 2 cups water works for me. However, I clarify my roots first and then add 1-2 tablespoons of conditioner to the rest of the rinse, shake it, and then use that to clarify the length. My length was bleached once and dyed three times in the span of a year and so the ACV and water alone made my hair rather dry.

Besides oiling and deep conditioning, you might want to start doing CWC washes. You can find the directions for that on Anais Satin's website. It's made quite a difference in my hair since I started doing that in June.

I don't use jojoba so I'm not too sure how much it costs, but you can check out www.mountainroseherbs.com.

mind my asking but what is a cwc wash?