One point that really hit home was when she asked me to consider the investment using just approximate figures -

1 conditioning treatment / month @ $15 = $180
1 trim every 4 months @ $20 = $60
$40 products every 3 months = $120
$360/annum x min 6 yrs = $2180

and she considered this as a minimum investment. The message - start thinking now about that scale of investment on my head. Treat it well, or it will be wasted in 3 years when I HAVE to cut it! She used two other analogies to hammer this home. Firstly, to imagine my hair as a Ferrari - brand spanking new - not a scratch on it. Treat my hair now with the same care and attention that I would that car.... and then in six years I will have the equivalent of that Ferrari on my head. The other example was to think of my hair now as something fragile like old paper or dried flowers... remembering to treat it that gently will again pay dividends in the future.

Realistically she thinks I am looking at 6-8 years of growth to achieve my goal. She said she can help me reach it without being over ???. I am not sure what the word is here to use. One concern I had going into this and as we spoke is not appearing too feminine. I guess that might sound funny for a guy who wants hip length hair, but I am not gay and I am not into having essentially feminine hair styles like I know some guys get into, or at least appear to do so on the net. But I do recognize/accept that braids, pony tails, buns, maybe other updo's and the use of accessories, conditioning treatments etc are part of the requirement for achieving long hair. Stephanie reassured me that she has no intention of 'primping' me up for the sake of it which made me feel comfortable with her.

Oh - thanks to Bikerbraid I did remember to take my original list of questions that I had posted here in terms of where do I start. I ran through those with her as well - and these were some of the answers I noted on the paper.

>1. Should I keep the layers or grow them out?

Grow them out for sure!

>2. Should I keep my bangs or grow them out?

Up to me. But likely I will want to grow them out at least once during the growth cycle. Stephanie has a preference that bangs on very long haired men don't mix.

>3. If I came in a suit and gave a presentation to your business with longer than shoulder length hair hanging loose, what would you think? What are other ways that I should start thinking of wearing it. The girls suggestions for me to consider ranged from ponytails, to braids, to buns and even up-do's for the most formal business meetings. What do you think?

Stephanie has seen all of these in her business. Her preference is i) braids, ii) ponytails, iii) loose in that order.

>4. One of the girls suggested I considered having some highlights/lowlights put into my hair, she said it looked too plain.

Stephanie wasn't too keen on this given my stated goals. She said it might be possible to use a non-peroxide color but she thinks my hair is so dry and damaged right now that she would avoid it. She thinks my 'color' and just the plain look of my hair will change when it is better conditioned.

>5. Both girls said my hair was too thick and straight and said if I wear it loose then I need more 'movement' and body in it. They said there were different ways I could achieve this but I should get my hair more styled first before trying it. 

Stephanie didn't address this in too much detail when I asked this reading from my list. But basically she said there were plenty of options. She feels my hair will again have my body once it is better conditioned. Also, the cut and style I choose for the growing out phase will play a big role. She suggested we keep this in mind as we move forward.

>6. How often should I wash my hair - typically I have been leaving it once a week to 2 weeks and it has gotten too greasy. What products do you recommend. 

No more than twice a week. Even though my hair is getting greasy from not washing it enough, Stephanie feels that it is dry - I had just showered and washed it on Saturday at the gym and she felt it was still dry from then.

>7. One girl who has longer hair suggested I have a deep conditioning treatment done at a salon - what does that involve? How often?

Stephanie laughed at this one and said I was about to find out.

>8. I swim and work out at the gym quite a bit - in terms of my longer term goals is there anything I should be doing to look after my hair more?

She strongly suggested I avoid it for a while, or as a minimum put a conditioner on before swimming. 

>9. What's your no. 1 hate (or more if you have them) thing about guys with long hair?

Several - untidy and unkempt being the biggest. Also, finds a lot of males attitudes to wanting long hair is inconsistent with the committment they are prepared to put into it. Also, doesn't like the non-style of many men. You can have long hair and style she told me.

>10. What's a reasonable goal, timewise, to go from just beyond shoulder to mid-back length hair.

For me to achieve hip length hair I am probably looking at between 6 to 8 years with trims. Again said on average hair grows 0.5 inches per month.

>11. Do you think I should just cut it (I hope not!)

She thinks I should go for it. She supports it and will help me achieve it along as I let her.

We then moved on to the third phase of my appointment which was a trim/cut/re-style session. Stephanie has strongly encouraged (insisted???) that I grow out my layers into a one length. She also encouraged me to grow out my bangs at some point in the future saying that I will want to do this at some point or several points in the growth cycle, but especially once my hair begins to get noticeably long, she doesn't think bangs on a long haired guy look too good, except on a mullet. So she suggested doing this sooner than later. But not just yet. She thinks that I may get discouraged if I have to battle growing bangs out before I start to see significant growth elsehwere, so she sees this as something to start in 6-12 months from now, maybe even 18 months. Despite the treatments there remained some damaged hair that Stephanie said would be just better removed now than later. We talked a bit more about growing out styles. I'm not too keen on getting a relatively short one length look that looks too much like a woman's bob cut, but she showed me some examples of longer versions which were more OK, I think - I may ask for some input from people here if I can find some pics on the net. But basically today it was a case of cutting off the damaged hair and trying to even up layers. We talked a bit about whether I should keep cutting the longest layers and allow the shorter ones to catch up. Stephanie thinks this could take around 6-9 months and was again concerned that if I don't get some more noticeable growth e.g. in the back, that I may get discouraged. So she suggested a compromise of shortening the longer hair every third or fourth month relative to the shorter layers, but essentially getting growth over that period everywhere. She suggested chunking the layers (evening them out in different sections) and 'graduating' the cut into essentially three different lengths, with the shorter lengths on the top and sides, the longest lengths at the base of head/neck. I didn't really understand this as she explained it, but now I have seen the finished result I get it and it actually looks pretty good, much tidier than before without sacrificing too much length. The most damaged hair was at the longest lengths and also around the crown. She thinks this is due to a) chlorine from swimming and the jacuzzi, b) possibly chlorine at home, c) rough toweling my hair dry which she has told me is a no-no and how I have to blot my hair in future. She also said I need to get a new brush and comb and stop brushing my hair wet. She also told me off for using cheaper barber shops before for trims etc, where they used thinnng shears and razors to thin out my hair. So after the trim my shorter lengths around the crown and sides are around 4.5 inches long (she took about 0.25 - 0.5 inches off in this area) and the longest lengths are around 7.5 inches long (taking off around 1.5  inches here) with another chunk of layers around 6.0 - 6.5 inches at the top of the crown coming down.

In total Stephanie must have took around 40-50 minutes to trim my hair and take some thickness out. She only used her scissors, no thinning scissors or razors etc. She just kept using these silver clips to clip hair out of the way while she worked on one section, and then another and then another. She probably went over my entire head twice, evening up the layers and taking some bulk out. She also thinned out my bangs a bit and cut them back a little, but not too much - they still stretch to around the middle of my nose.

She wetted my hair down a couple of times explaining that the top hair seemed to be drying out/absorbing moisture quicker than the underneath hair which she thinks is partly due to the damage/drying out of it.

The next part was probably the most embarassing time for me. I wasn't sure to include it here or not. But if I make a jump, what follows won't make sense anyway and in any case I still have some questions on this. After the cut Stephanie got a blowdryer out and fixed a large circular thing on it (I think she called it a diffusion or something like that). But before she used it, she put it down and felt my hair once again lifting it up with her fingers. At that point she got called away with a telephone call. She came back less than five minutes later, but this time with a small trolley. She started to tell me that while hair my length would normally be OK to blow dry with the big diffusion thing on it, given that I wanted to grow my hair so long she'd prefer not to use the blow dryer at all. She then started to roll my hair onto some smooth rollers. She started to explain some more but another stylist came over really agitated about something and they spoke for almost ten minutes while Stephanie continued to put my hair in the rollers. I never got a chance to ask Stephanie any questions over this because they were talking up to the time that Stephanie had put me under a dryer again.

I did get a chance to talk with Stephanie again before leaving, but didn't get a chance to ask her about the rollers any more (it was a fairly quick conversation since she was still working on her client).  In fact the last few minutes was more about the hard sell/soft sell of follow on products to use at home. Actually to be fair, Stephanie didn't push me that hard. She basically recommended that I try some different Aveda products in their smallest size and see if they work for me. So she sold me the Brilliant shampoo and conditioner.

I am also booked in for another protein/conditioning treatment for one months time - Stephanie had suggested having these monthly until my hair shows no damage. She did say that I could do the treatments at home, but she said it also gives her the chance to follow up with me and she can keep an eye on my hair, also she emphasized the value of the heat treatments which she suspects I can't do at home. She is suggesting monthly conditioning treatments at the salon for now with trims every 3-4 months (in terms of evening the layers up) with maybe a mini-trim every couple of months (less than 1/4 - 1/8 of an inch she promises).

It was around 5:45 when I finally left the salon by the way - and they only had been pre-paid for a three hour appointment (so I was in there for 4:15 mins). So I didn't get the feeling that they were trying to rush me or anything like that.

I need to finish off in a few minutes, but looking over some notes I had made while talking with Stephanie, she is also suggesting I wash my hair no more than twice a week right now and I always should condition. She also suggests doing a more intense conditioning treatment at home once a week and then the monthly treatment at the salon. She has suggested if I can, that I don't go swimming for the next month (or the jacuzzi for that matter) to see if my hair condition improves and that if I have to swim then I should coat it with conditioner first. She's suggested I always let my wet hair air dry and throw out my blow dryer. She's also suggested I buy a new brush and comb (said boar's bristle I think it was is best and a wooden comb or one with wider teeth and no sharp edges). Also, to stop brushing my hair when wet - only use a comb. She's also suggested I do some research on the net into vitamins etc for hair and start taking a few supplements - she promised to have some recommendations for me next time I come in (is that a carrot to lure me in for another session???).

I think that is all I can remember for now although maybe I will be able to add more tomorrow if I remember anything else.

As I say, in total it was a nice experience with just a few things that made me feel a bit self conscious and uncertain as to why they were necessary. But right now it wouldn't stop me going again.

Thanks for reading - I know this is long. And any comments would be really welome. The advice given seems sensible but any extra input would be really appreciated. And explanations on the things I had questions on too.

Thanks

M

Hi Bikerbraid

Thanks for your comments and encouragement. And also the explanation/reassurance re: the rollers. I had a lot of mixed feelings re: that, both during my time in the salon and last night. Initially I felt some embarassment at the salon. It wasn't so much that I handled it well, more that I wasn't sure what to do or say. Under the dryer I kind of got a bit upset on the one hand at Stephanie - she had really taken time to explain most things and put me at ease and then she had done this without really any explanation. But then I knew the other stylist had interurpted her. On the other hand I thought about Stephanie saying that she wasn't going to primp me up. So I figured there was a reason but I couldn't figure it out. I guess I should have just accepted what Amanda had said. I wasn't sure about her at the start but actually she was pretty good too. She took a lot of time in trying to show me some of those styles, and she had some laughs at my expense, but not in a mean way. I guess I have a lot to learn. As I said, over all the experience was mostly very positive.

Today my hair looked fantastic. Often when I wake up its all over the place, but today it just looked cleaner, more glossy, healthier and laid a lot better. I brushed it out using a plastic brush again but I guess I have to get a different kind of brush. - I have more questions at the end 

In terms of practising braiding - I hear what you are saying. Amanda suggested I wait a couple more months or a bit longer till my hair is longer - she said it was a little short for the French braid which would make it harder to do even for someone experienced. But I guess I could still practice braiding my longest lengths at the back couldn't I. I find it real difficult doing things behind my head and I am all fingers and thumbs at the moment. I guess that is what practising is about.

I only got to see one co-worker today but she commented on how my hair looked and said it was a real noticable change. I hadn't thought of taking pics before and after. I am kind of reluctant to post pics or give away too much of myself right now, but maybe in a few months I will feel different.

I wore my hair loose again today, but I have a client meeting next Monday and I am seriously thinking about going to that with the half pony look. I may try it a few times before hand outside in public so I can get used to it before the client meeting. I have some problems with the half pony right now - i) is that not all the side hair stays in, after a hour or so, it falls out. ii) where the pony is tied it tends to push out from my head a lot rather than lay low or flat, I guess because I don't have a lot of length in it. Any suggestions to avoid these things. Amanda did show me a couple of variations to try. The first one used a small hair claw (is that what they are called - I think it is - like a hinged plastic clip with teeth, which when you push it opens the jaw and when you let go it closes). This seemed to make it easier for me to produce the half pony but doesn't stop really i or ii above. The other variation, I forgot to mention last night, she did the same sort of style but used a clip thing to hold the gathered hair at the back of my head rather than put it into a ponytail. The clip was like an oval black shape on the top with a silver clip thing stuck under it. She slid one part of the clip under the hair and the other part just kind of snaps over it and shuts. She said you have to be careful of not getting your hair caught up with it, but it spreads out the pony which makes it lay flatter and also seems to gather in more hair so it doesn't fall out as much from what I can tell. Would this be OK do you think to try or too feminine? I'm kind of not sure what accessories are OK for guys right now and what aren't.

What you said about Stephanie. Yeah she rocks! I think she is a real long hair fan. Not only does she have great hair herself but she seemed to be really passionate about me growing my hair and helping me do it right. OK I guess she is paid to do that, but she seemed genuine. Oh, what is the George Michael method you mentioned. Is that something to do with the singer?

OK some quick questions.

1. With the shampoo and conditioner that I got - how much should I use? Stephanie had said not to use too much but didn't really say how much. She warned me of getting too much product build up.

2. Can someone explain to me, or point me in the direction of some instructions, as to how to properly wash my hair to avoid damage. Again Stephanie had said not to be rough with it during the washing process.. or towel drying for that matter.

3. Brushes. It was a bristle brush she recommended. Boar bristle I think. Are there different types or will any one do.

4. She said I should get a new comb too - a wooden comb with wide teeth she suggested - any suggestions. And are these and the brush easy to find in stores.

Thanks

M

Quote:


I agree with you to a point.  I have never spent that much on my hair (hair accessories maybe but not on product or services).  But in the process of growing out your hair, a stylist that truely understands your goals and will trim you hair to help you achieve that is worth a few bucks.  You could do without the conditioning treatments, but they can be a wonderful boost to your hair, especially if you are starting with damamged hair.  Hair products, you could spend a fortune here.  I think you can find reasonably priced product out there, if you just start reading labels and learning what to avoid.  Throwing in a vinegar rinse every now and then can cure a lot of mistakes with products.

Thanks for the comments.

Rapunzel: OK - maybe I shouldn't take what you were saying literally - but 1/100th of the annual expenditure would be only $3.60. I spend that on a bottle of Pantene and that wouldn't even include the cost of a trim in one year. Is there a chance you mis-read what I wrote and thought I was saying over $2000 per year rather than $360 per year. $360 per year didn't seem that bad to me actually - maybe I don't have an idea. Even if I didn't go for the treatments and got cheap products and just had two trims a year I would be probably looking at $100 or so.

Bikerbraid: I don't want to pay too much over the top. But I kind of agree as well in what you say about them being a good support resource and teaching me right now. Maybe in a few months I won't feel like I need that level of support, or the treatments. In part the investment reflects the committment I feel I am making as well. Thanks for the tips though on the vinegar rinse.

Thanks for the tips on the shampooing, toweling and combs etc. You pre-empted another question I was going to ask about drying/towelling - so thanks.

M

Rapunzel - thanks for the link. Yes, I had found that thanks. Awesome article.

M