I have made a mistake that I would like to try to fix with as little damage as possible.

Beforehand, a few notes about my hair: I have very dark blonde hair, about four inches past my shoulders with some layers. It is also very fine, very thin, and has the tiniest wave in it. It's not enough to look wavy, or even enough to give my hair any body...just this tiny wave that makes my hair a lot more unruly than if it was stick-straight. When it gets longer, trying to get it to hang nicely is a constant struggle and in the last couple of months I've taken to wearing a ponytail constantly. (This struggle is THE REASON I gave up on all my previous attempts at long hair...because my hair only hangs nicely when it is fairly short.)

So, silly me, I made the mistake of asking this very friendly and knowledgeable-seeming woman trimming my hair at the salon one day, what I could do to give my hair more body and get it to hang more nicely. I mean, what is the point of long hair if I have to keep it totally up and back all the time because it won't hang neatly when it's down?

She said layers would definitely help. (They did while it was shorter, but I'm about to lose them at this point.) She also suggested that lighter blonde highlights would give the illusion of thicker hair.

My first (and best) gut reaction was, "You touch my hair with bleach, you die." I'd already had a bad perm experience. A VERY bad perm experience. So I didn't want to go there.

Unfortunately, I was so annoyed with my hair that I was pretty easily convinced. So finally I agreed, only if she would agree to do it as gently as possible. i.e., leave the chemicals in for as short a period of time as possible and only lighten it a couple of shades. She agreed, and yes, she did as promised and was unusually brief with the bleaching. So I left with slightly lighter blonde highlights. They looked very nice, actually. But:

1. They did not make my hair look any fuller. I've heard several people say that highlights make hair look fuller, but my impossible hair must be the exception to that rule. NOTHING gives my hair volume.
2. That was about three months ago and I can already feel my hair starting to get overly dry and tangle easily. The way it did after it was permed.

It's time to get the roots touched up and I've decided that highlights are not the answer for me. And I have learned my lesson about chemicals in my hair, forever.

I DO NOT want to have to cut all my hair off, which was necessary after the perm because it was literally breaking off at the time. I'm not to that point here. It's just getting tangly and annoying. But I definitely don't want to keep the highlights, and I want to figure out how to get rid of them without cutting my hair off or damaging it further.

I'm not in favor of just letting them grow off, that would take quite awhile and look really...odd...in the process. I'm open to being convinced of anything at the moment, but I was wondering if anyone had any advice on this.

I'm starting to wonder if I'm cut out to have long hair...I have to fight with it endlessly.

Welcome back!  Haven't seen you around for a while.

Trying to correct,  change or eliminate permanent color is always a challenge.  You might try a coffee, tea or herb type rinse.  Typically the treated hair will take additional color better than non-treated hair.  This could then darken the highlights to get them closer to your natural color.

You could use a semi-perm color that matches your natural color to bring all your hair to the same color.

I wish you luck and hope you find something to help.

Hi bikerbraid! Yeah, I've been busy. Next time I'll stick around for help rather than asking a hairstylist's advice about my hair and then running back here asking how to fix the mess!

About the rinses...what would this involve? I've never done anything like that before. I think a tea or herb rinse would be better because I still am blonde, after all (albeit dark-ashy blonde)...I don't want coffee-colored hair!   :P  

What would I use for the rinse? And how do I do it? I'm willing to try anything before I chemically color my hair again...my hair is too fine and fragile to take all this junk, even when it's healthy! That has finally truly sunk into my thick skull.    ::)

Ella, sorry to hear you're stuggling.  My sister has hair like yours, tangles have always been a problem.  Do you regularly oil your hair?

I also have dark blond hair.  A couple of years ago I was dying it red (which looked great) but after finding this site (and my scalp was getting unhappy with the touchups) I decided to cease the coloring routine.  I had the color stripped out of my hair (twice) which killed the texture.  I was still faintly red so my stylist did a semi permanent color that washed out over time.  It was the perfect solution to growing out the color while the other faded more and it really did look natural.

Good Luck.  We are always looking for something new (sorry the highlights didn't give you the look you wanted) and fresh.  I suggest getting a tattoo.  Of course, I don't know you and hope you won't be offended.

I cut my hair from its longest (about 25") to a chin length bob years ago 'cause I wanted a change and decided another tattoo was too expensive.  I shoulda got another tattoo back then!

BTW, I love your avatar.  Did you do your do yourself?  Looks great!!!

No, I didn't do those braids myself. I got them done at a Renaissance Fair...I wish I could do that to my own hair!!!

So I did some research myself last night...

If I'm understanding this correctly, semi-permanent color is (obviously) not permanent, but it lasts awhile, and it does not have peroxide or ammonia? In other words, it wouldn't fry my hair further?

If that's true, if I can get coloring done at a salon that won't further damage my hair - I'd rather do that. I've never colored my own hair and I'm a little wary of the possibility of making a mess of it...of course, if there is no other way to be gentle on my hair, I guess I'll have to. But semi-permanent color is basically safe, right?

PS: I've been thinking of getting a tattoo...I'm just not sure what to get yet...   ;)

A coloring specialist would/should be able to recommend the type of hair color that would give you the desired results without further damaging your hair.  Semi perm color typically does not have the harsh chemicals, but I have heard horror stories with some (do-it-yourself at home color), so if you go the home route, check the ingredients.

I have also heard good review of a line of hair color that does not have the harsh chemicals - Robert Craig.  Many long haired people use it regularly and claim no damage.

One coloring of your hair, especially when darkening your hair, not lightening it, should not do excessive damage to your hair.  The ends of my hair have been lightened but are still in pretty good shape for being as old as they are.  You just have to take extra care of it and be sure to keep the hair moisturized with oils and/or conditioners.

Good luck and let us know how this turns out.

I was planning to go to the salon tomorrow for a trim, so I'll ask there about how I can have it colored. I'm definitely thinking I'll go with semi-permanent at the salon, I'm not sure I trust myself NOT to end up with orange hair if I do it myself!

Well, I'm happy to say that after a lot of weird mishaps, I finally got to a salon and I am very pleased. The stylist gave me this "toner rinse" that basically darkened the highlights...they are still visible but MUCH less so because they are a lot closer to my original color now. There was also some sort of conditioner (or toner? What is the difference?) in the rinse and my hair is very soft.  ^____________^

He also cut off all the layers...I lost about four inches, which was a little sad, but I am SO happy to have a blunt cut. It really looks much nicer on my hair than layers. And the fortunate thing is that my hair grows. Fast.   ;D   So now I have a shoulder-length blunt cut and I'm growing it back out from here.

Yea!  I'm glad you found the answer and are happy with the results.  Now..... remember....... DON'T DO ANYTHING DRASTIC!  If/when the urge hits you, wait 2 weeks before doing anything!  ;D

LOL!!!!!!

Bikerbraid, I have a tendency to decide that I want to do something to my hair, and then walk into the salon the next day. Often with regrettable results later...but I don't see anything impulsive on the horizon. What drastic thing are you talking about?   ;D

wrote on Sep 8^th, 2006 at 9:24pm:

What drastic thing are you talking about?   ;D

Oh, just little things like.....highlighting, coloring, cutting more than 4"...... you know, those things that you can't easily undo!  8)

Oh, believe me, I have LEARNED MY LESSON about chemical processing!

I would hope that I have learned my lesson about cutting a lot at once, as well. This time I felt it was necessary to get rid of the layers, but in general I think I'm done with drastic haircuts...

Hey, there's this product out there called ColorFix.  You can apply it to your whole entire head to correct your color and it won't damage your hair.  I've found out about this product from another website.  It was called, "The Going Blonde Website."  There's this chemist on there his name is Rick.  He talks about this product ColorFix like it's a really good product.  I've never tried it before but he has different threads on there saying, "Before you bleach do a ColorFix."  Because, if you just do the bleach you will cause damage.  And someone on the board said that they've used ColorFix 2 or 3 times, and it didn't damage their hair.

Blondie35