1. Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?

2. Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

3. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?'

4. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

5. On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message "one slice?" How many pieces of bread do they think people are really gonna try to stuff in that slot?

6. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

7. Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?

8. How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures?

9. Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept dryng our clothes would they eventually just disappear?

10. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

11. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? (That's me!)

12. Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?

13. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

14. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

15. If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it? And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky diving!

16. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you!

Any of these strike home????  

Hee hee, Biker Braid you're really funny.
In regards to #5, I think they put the "one slice" message is for when you're only toasting one piece of bread instead of two.  My reasoning on this is that an engineer designed the toaster and not only are they linear thinkers, they love to tell people how to do things.  Did I mention I'm married to a mechanical engineer??  LOL!

wrote on Feb 14^th, 2005 at 5:42pm:

Hee hee, Biker Braid you're really funny. In regards to #5, I think they put the "one slice" message is for when you're only toasting one piece of bread instead of two.  My reasoning on this is that an engineer designed the toaster and not only are they linear thinkers, they love to tell people how to do things.  Did I mention I'm married to a mechanical engineer??  LOL!

Yes, I know that is what #5 meant, but it was still a funny description.  There are lots of "this is so obvious, why does it have to be stated" lists out there.  

An example:
Shampoo/conditioners with warnings: for external use only.  (Why would you ever think shampoo was for internal use??)

Thank you for the laugh.  My partner and I both got a kick out of it.  (And relate to too many of them).  

#2 White consists of all colors.

#8 They crawl in there using their hairy, dirty little legs.

#Ok. Here's one. There was this father-in-law who once visited his son's family. The daughter-in-law noticed that the father-in-law kept staring to the ceiling all the time.
     Hey wait, it's my doorbell. I'll go and get it.






YOU? O-o.

*TWHAP THWAP THWAP*

wrote on Feb 15^th, 2005 at 5:30am:

#2 White consists of all colors.

i'd rather say that bubble is a hyper fine soap film, which consist of a thin layer of water that is bounded by two monolayers of surfactant molecules. The latter molecules are amphiphilic: they have a hydrophilic (=water-loving) head group and usually two lipophilic (= hydrophobic, water-repelling, directed towards the air) hydrocarbon chains.
Each surfactant monolayer represents an air-water interface.
so, just a water film seperated from the air by arranged surfactant moleculs ... no colored molecules present in there :)

air ~~0 H2O 0~~ air
air ~~0 H2O 0~~ air
air ~~0 H2O 0~~ air

H2O: water film
surfactant molecule 0~~ :
0: hydrophilic head
~~: hydrophobic hydrocarbon chain

You win. :)

Quote:

9. Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept dryng our clothes would they eventually just disappear?

I've actually pondered that before.  ::)


wrote on Feb 15^th, 2005 at 5:30am:

#Ok. Here's one. There was this father-in-law who once visited his son's family. The daughter-in-law noticed that the father-in-law kept staring to the ceiling all the time.      Hey wait, it's my doorbell. I'll go and get it.

*thinks....*

*reads again...*

*thinks some more...*

Okay, I don't get it.

Galadriel wrote
Quote:

YOU? O-o. *TWHAP THWAP THWAP*

You mean with a dead fish? Is this alluding to an obscure Python sketch? Or was it one of those cases where the guy "sticks his neck out"/puts his chin up for the visitor to sock?

Anais

Now I know why there aren't many father-in-law jokes --I don't get it either -- feeling rather stupid :P
#9 - a related point - I finally figured out where all the odd socks go from the dryer -- they enter a worm hole and re-appear behind my freezer! :o
#15 - AMEN to all my MEN ("mother" can also be substituted for "wife")!! ;D
#16 - after telling one of my sons that he was driving me crazy he replied, "I haven't done my job if you're not crazy by the time I leave home"....he's 23 and getting ready to leave home........
Styg -- LOL--a born chemist (I live with one too ::) )